How glorious it feels to hold a grudge. How satisfying and self-indulgent. A true grudge is not about bitterness, hatred, vengeance or anger. Nor is it a feeling that demands action or a solution. Rather, it is the smug pleasure of knowing that you’re entitled to feel wronged—a privately held insight into another person’s flaws. It is also, importantly, an emotional shield—a slight lowering of expectations that immunizes you against being disappointed again. According to author Sophie Hannah, holding personal grudges can be constructive. In November, she is launching a self-help book dashing the conventional wisdom that grudges are unhealthy, and that functional people always “forgive and forget.” How to Hold a Grudge: From Resentment to Contentment, the Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life includes an “anthology of grudges”—such as a man who stood in line for hours in the rain to see a James Bond film for which tickets had This story is from Kinfolk Issue Twenty-Nine Buy Now Related Stories Arts & Culture Issue 19 Going Incognito We all secretly wonder what mischief we’d make if invisible: When our identity is hidden, everything seems possible. Arts & Culture Issue 19 The Best Policy Sometimes we talk to each other without feeling heard. Honesty—a most intimate interaction—can be just as thrilling as its more devious inverse. Arts & Culture Issue 19 A Sense of Suspense With unhinged imaginations and mountains of cliff-hangers, the filmmakers behind the sci-fi podcast Limetown have all the makings of a scary story. Arts & Culture Issue 19 Like Clockwork In this new column about time, we learn how slipping off our watches makes us feel like deadline-damning renegades. Arts & Culture Music Issue 19 On a Grander Scale Malaysian singer-songwriter Yuna now may live on the opposite side of the globe, but she’s determined to evolve while staying true to her roots. Arts & Culture Issue 19 Neighborhood: Fire Stations The firefighting profession has evolved over time from Ancient Rome’s rudimentary bucket brigades to today’s sleek life-saving departments.
Arts & Culture Issue 19 Going Incognito We all secretly wonder what mischief we’d make if invisible: When our identity is hidden, everything seems possible.
Arts & Culture Issue 19 The Best Policy Sometimes we talk to each other without feeling heard. Honesty—a most intimate interaction—can be just as thrilling as its more devious inverse.
Arts & Culture Issue 19 A Sense of Suspense With unhinged imaginations and mountains of cliff-hangers, the filmmakers behind the sci-fi podcast Limetown have all the makings of a scary story.
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Arts & Culture Music Issue 19 On a Grander Scale Malaysian singer-songwriter Yuna now may live on the opposite side of the globe, but she’s determined to evolve while staying true to her roots.
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