“There’s a huge difference between examining and dwelling,” says Lori Gottlieb, the LA-based psychotherapist behind The New York Times bestseller Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. Gottlieb—whose book interweaves the crises of her patients with her own reckoning with therapy—is decidedly against navel-gazing. Instead, she advocates therapy as a tool for personal progress. Likening her role of therapist to that of editor, she explains how she helps patients reshape their own narrative through self-examination. When someone comes to see you, what are you looking out for? I like to say that that I’m listening for the music under the lyrics. The lyrics are, “Here’s why I came today, ” and the music is, “What’s the underlying struggle or pattern that got you into this situation in the first place?” And that’s often what we end up working with. We all have blind spots and it’s really hard to see your own. Whatever those This story is from Kinfolk Issue Thirty-Four Buy Now Related Stories Arts & Culture Issue 19 Going Incognito We all secretly wonder what mischief we’d make if invisible: When our identity is hidden, everything seems possible. Arts & Culture Issue 19 The Best Policy Sometimes we talk to each other without feeling heard. Honesty—a most intimate interaction—can be just as thrilling as its more devious inverse. Arts & Culture Issue 19 A Sense of Suspense With unhinged imaginations and mountains of cliff-hangers, the filmmakers behind the sci-fi podcast Limetown have all the makings of a scary story. Arts & Culture Issue 19 Like Clockwork In this new column about time, we learn how slipping off our watches makes us feel like deadline-damning renegades. Arts & Culture Music Issue 19 On a Grander Scale Malaysian singer-songwriter Yuna now may live on the opposite side of the globe, but she’s determined to evolve while staying true to her roots. Arts & Culture Issue 19 Neighborhood: Fire Stations The firefighting profession has evolved over time from Ancient Rome’s rudimentary bucket brigades to today’s sleek life-saving departments.
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