Retired federal judge Dave Hatfield has been collecting malaphors for over 30 years and posting them on his website, malaphors.com, for nearly 10. Malaphors are mixed metaphors—the product of two idioms blended together to make a humorous Frankenphrase such as: “I’ll burn that bridge when I come to it.” Though most commonly observed in political punditry and sports commentary on TV and radio, none of us will escape getting our linguistic wires crossed from time to time. Hatfield says that’s This story is from Kinfolk Issue Forty Buy Now Related Stories Arts & Culture Issue 34 Picture This The meaning of metaphors. Arts & Culture Issue 51 Emily Gernild The Danish painter breathing new life into an old medium. Arts & Culture Food Issue 51 Imogen Kwok The artist takes food styling quite literally, creating accessories out of fruits and vegetables. Arts & Culture Design Issue 51 How to Make a Chair And do it on a tiny budget. Arts & Culture Issue 51 Odd Jobs The comedian with strong opinions about your home décor. Arts & Culture Issue 51 Tall Order The hidden depths of height.