The irony of this essay is implicit in its subject: Not only did I procrastinate before writing it, but everyone reading this essay—with the exception of my editor—is procrastinating by reading it. There is something better you should be doing. By something “better” I mean something utilitarian: paying bills, finishing homework, cleaning dirty windows, getting a colonoscopy, etc. From this claim arises several assumptions: First, we only procrastinate that which is both painful and necessary; we wouldn’t procrastinate throwing ourselves on a hot spike because we would never do so. Unless hot-spiking was for pleasurable ends, in which case we wouldn’t procrastinate. This story is from Kinfolk Issue Twenty-Two Buy Now Related Stories Arts & Culture Issue 48 All the Besties How to make work friendships work. Arts & Culture Issue 47 That’s Life The quiet tyranny of clichés. Arts & Culture Issue 45 The Whole Story The power of cradle-to-grave novels. Arts & Culture Issue 43 Signal Boost How status anxiety drives culture. Arts & Culture Issue 41 Mixed Emoji Is a picture worth a thousand words? Arts & Culture Issue 38 Social Work Hettie O’Brien considers the cost of never logging off.
