The irony of this essay is implicit in its subject: Not only did I procrastinate before writing it, but everyone reading this essay—with the exception of my editor—is procrastinating by reading it. There is something better you should be doing. By something “better” I mean something utilitarian: paying bills, finishing homework, cleaning dirty windows, getting a colonoscopy, etc. From this claim arises several assumptions: First, we only procrastinate that which is both painful and necessary; we wouldn’t procrastinate throwing ourselves on a hot spike because we would never do so. Unless hot-spiking was for pleasurable ends, in which case we wouldn’t procrastinate. This story is from Kinfolk Issue Twenty-Two Buy Now Related Stories Arts & Culture Issue 49 Karin Mamma Andersson Inside the moody, mysterious world of Sweden’s preeminent painter. Arts & Culture Issue 49 Mass Destruction “Artists are often left baffled by the fact that they have millions of monthly streams, yet only a couple of thousand followers on social media.” Arts & Culture Issue 49 On the Cheap The greatness of cultural worsts. Arts & Culture Issue 48 All the Besties How to make work friendships work. Arts & Culture Issue 47 That’s Life The quiet tyranny of clichés. Arts & Culture Issue 45 The Whole Story The power of cradle-to-grave novels.