We are repeatedly told that clear communication about sexual desire is crucial to healthy relationships, while seldom being given any practicable frameworks or approaches to help us tackle that sticky task. Asking for what we want in bed is hard. Our resolve to do so often falls flaccid because requesting something means admitting we want it. We’ve been culturally conditioned to view sex as dirty, shameful or taboo—especially any act that falls outside the mainstream patriarchal preoccupation with straightforward, straight penetration. This story is from Kinfolk Issue Thirty-Four Buy Now Related Stories Arts & Culture Issue 39 Learn Lenience We were all young once. Arts & Culture Issue 39 Pay it Forward How to be a mentor. Arts & Culture Issue 39 Be Accountable On youth and responsibility. Arts & Culture Issue 39 Think Back A reexamination of nostalgia. Arts & Culture Issue 39 Grow Up In praise of aging. Arts & Culture Issue 38 Go Online Etiquette for making rituals digital.