Rules that seem ridiculous to you may make perfect sense to the person that made them. And if people don’t follow the rules set out—in a relationship, at work or during a global pandemic—well, frustration is understandable. Whether you’re tightly laced or laissez-faire, the path to harmony is understanding what rules and rule-breaking are really about, and why. Cross-cultural psychologist Michele Gelfand’s book Rule Makers, Rule Breakers covers just that, describing “tightness” and “looseness” as an approach to rules and a way to view the world. She believes that both flagrant rule-flouting and draconian diktats can be understood and overcome with empathy and negotiation.

What’s the basic idea behind “tight” and “loose” cultures?
As humans, we judge others b...