“Turning over a new leaf.” “Making a fresh start.” “Wiping the slate clean.” The terms we use to describe big life changes have a sense of intentionality built into them. Nobody would describe being dumped, fired or priced out of a dream home with these words; they are reserved for moments when you’ve seized power over your behavior and circumstances—when you’ve made the decision to say goodbye to a bad habit, and feel sure that it will lead to the emergence of a new you.

Often, we make a resolution to visit the gym more and eat differently in the hope of better managing our health; we leave relationships when we feel we have no power to change them and we resign when we’re confronted by the prospect of a dead-end job. Moving to another home, city, or even a new cou...