( 1 ) To most people, a beesting is unpleasant rather than dangerous. Experts note that the average adult can tolerate more than 1,000 stings without life-threatening consequences. Yet each year, almost 100 Americans die from severe allergic reactions to bee or wasp stings—making these insects responsible for more fatalities in the US than any other animal.
Cross-PollinationA mother pauses before passing on a phobia.
Cross-PollinationA mother pauses before passing on a phobia.
I have a terrible fear of wasps and bees. I guess the correct term for it is a phobia, as it causes an uncontrollable response (undignified shrieking, ducking, running) and leads me to avoid wasp and bee situations altogether (outdoor seating, hikes, gardening). But “phobia” implies the fear is undeserved. Are these stinging insects not objectively scary? How is everyone else so preternaturally brave?1
In the past, this phobia was only a problem for me and those unfortunate enough to share the same outdoor space, but my behavior matters more now: I’ve recently become a mother. Someone is watching closely, looking for clues on how to act and live and grow. A parent with a phobia can sometimes pass it on to their child, and my son deserves at least a shot at being someone who can receive an invitation for an outdoor wedding and not feel preemptive panic. And in any case, it’s embarrassing to shriek at a bee.
A few weeks after I gave birth, desperate to improve everything about myself, I scrolled through the wasp and bee phobia subreddit as I held my son in my arms. I felt instantly at home. Users lamented not being able to enjoy summer, longing for cloudy days, being told to “just relax” (as if that were possible!); they felt shame over their cartoonlike screeching and running. These were my people.
Most of the users expressed a strong desire to change. They were tired of feeling captive to an insect. They begged for anyone who might offer any advice. One said that, unfortunately, he believed the fear of wasps is the only fear humans cannot overcome, which made me laugh even though deep down I thought it sounded right. Others were more hopeful, suggesting things like immersion therapy, deep breathing and watching bee documentaries.
