
How To: HibernateA survival guide to winter.
How To: HibernateA survival guide to winter.
“Getting through the winter” has been one of the essential driving forces of civilization. Any fool can stay alive in a tropical environment, where mangoes drop into your lap and fish swim into your hands. Lasting from November to March in Helsinki or Anchorage, on the other hand, requires grit, cunning and a ready supply of cozy drinks.
This is one reason why so many good ideas have come from cold climates. Freezing, smoking, fermenting, drying and other tasty preservation tricks have been elevated to an art in northern locales. Double glazing, hot water bottles, Grand Theft Auto: all dreamed up by people trapped indoors, bored, staring into the drizzle.
The oft-touted idea that we should “touch grass” or “go for a walk," suggests we tend to see staying in as a moral failing. But as winter arrives, let’s remember that it is a great privilege to be living during the golden age of home comfort. It would be the height of churlishness not to take advantage of such remarkable circumstances—after all, you can summon a single burrito or warm cookies to be delivered in less than half an hour, or order diapers in the morning and have them on your children by the evening. And besides, going out to restaurants and movies demands human interaction, and pants.
There are risks to staying at home. Unlike bears, humans do not live off their fat reserves during hibernation, but increase them, often surprisingly quickly. It is important therefore to stay active and limber, but luckily this can also be done at home, perhaps on one of the many and varied exercise machines developed to facilitate this.


