Talk DirtyHow to open up about sexual desires.

Talk DirtyHow to open up about sexual desires.

  • Words Alix Fox
  • Photograph Aaron Tilley
  • Styling Sandy Suffield

We are repeatedly told that clear communication about sexual desire is crucial to healthy relationships, while seldom being given any practicable frameworks or approaches to help us tackle that sticky task.

Asking for what we want in bed is hard. Our resolve to do so often falls flaccid because requesting something means admitting we want it. We’ve been culturally conditioned to view sex as dirty, shameful or taboo—especially any act that falls outside the mainstream patriarchal preoccupation with straightforward, straight penetration.

Vocalizing that we’re intrigued by an X-rated fantasy risks incurring judgment. It requires bravery; and the stakes are arguably higher in long-term relationships, where there’s the worry that our partner might interpret us coveting something diff...

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