We started helping people with their speeches almost a decade ago. We were working in writing and editing jobs in New York and our friends began coming to us with anxiety about speeches they had to write. We realized that if the smartest, funniest and most capable people we knew were struggling, others must be, too. 

Many believe the key to a memorable toast is to make sure you follow a fairly standard template: to thank certain guests, give advice and lead the party in raising their glasses. While that can be a good place to start, whatever you do should feel personal. The audience should learn something new about who the toast is about, for example—you can include anecdotes but keep it to one or two. 

There are those who want to be utterly unique—in the States, people love to do songs or rap. But for most people, giving a normal speech will be enough: The tradition of toast-giving is ancient and there’s a reason the classic method resonates. If you do decide to deviate from something straightforward, it should be as a break in your speech rather than to replace it entirely.

The most significant rule is that a toast should have a beginning, a middle and an end. It should take the audience on an emotional journey where they don’t quite know where they are heading. We often say that people should both laugh and cry, but always consider your strengths—you don’t suddenly need to become a comedian. Unless you are extremely funny and good at delivery, it should be more heart than humor. (If you do include a heartfelt moment, make sure to read that part a little more slowly.)