According to a recent Gallup poll, about a quarter of employed adults in the US say they have a “work best friend.” That number has gone down a few points since the start of the pandemic—it’s hard to make lasting connections with colleagues you may have never actually met in person—but it’s an interesting metric all the same. People with work besties are more likely to say they’re happy at work and to recommend their workplace to others. 

But having a best friend at work can be a tricky tightrope act. Those who chat too much can be dubbed gossips and run the risk of seeming cliquey to others. And what about when your good-time best friend becomes your boss, or vice versa? You may find it difficult to receive harsh feedback from someone you once saw fall out of an Uber at 3 a.m.

Navigating the nuances of forming friendships at work is simpler when you’re new to the working world: Typically, everyone you bond with is young and in a similar boat in terms of responsibilities, pay and stakes. As we age and advance in our careers and our friendships, though, we have to learn to parse the boundaries. It can be challenging to walk back a die-hard friend relationship when it needs to transition into something a little more businesslike. 

Most experts—including Roxane Gay, who writes the “Work Friend” column for The New York Times—say that it’s best to hold firm when it comes to setting a line between your business life and your personal life. Avoid oversharing and make it clear (subtly) that you’re in your job for professional enrichment and advancement, not to round up a new group of pickleball pals. It might seem a little harsh—we all want to be liked, after all—but there’s a fine line between getting along with co-workers and regretting all those hair-raising nights out a few years later when you’re battling it out with your bestie for a promotion and a pay raise. 

It’s not impossible to make a work friend and keep them forever. Most baby boomers say that they’ve made the majority of their friends at work, after all.¹ But those friendships may also have come with trade-offs, be they personal or professional. For instance, the same recent Gallup poll said that people with work friends are less likely to leave their current place of employment, lest they risk losing their buds. That’s terrific for companies—less turnover equals more productivity—but it can cut both ways for employees. It’s great to work with people you like, but it’s also good to know that, if some promising new job opportunity comes up, you won’t second-guess it and end up holding yourself back professionally.