Maybe it’s the pandemic or maybe it’s because, for the last seven or so years, it’s felt like society is constantly on the cusp of complete collapse, but it seems like we’ve become desensitized to other people’s personal issues. 

That’s not to say that some things don’t hit home. Everyone feels terrible for disaster victims, grieving families and those who are struggling with other obvious tragedies. The wackier worries can spark interest, too: When a friend recently recounted how she was dealing with a seven-year-old son who wants to be naked every minute he’s home, even if other people are in the house, I felt genuinely sorry, telling her very seriously that I had no idea how I’d deal with that hellacious (and hilarious) issue. 

But when faced with more common daily woes—your garden-variety fender benders, battles with insomnia, lost wallets or even mild bouts of identity theft—it’s become all too commonplace to nod soberly and offer mild condolences. They’ll get over it. 

Why are some problems more apt to elicit sympathy while others draw a collective shrug, and how can we all get better at caring about someone else’s concerns, no matter what they are? It all comes down to empathy and ego, most likely. It’s easy to quickly gloss over others’ problems—especially if we’ve handily dealt with something similar on our own. That quickly diminishes their experiences, though, and makes them feel like the issue that’s plaguing their lives—whether it’s anxiety, a low bank balance or a long-lingering cough—doesn’t really deserve to take up our precious brain space.

It’s worth remembering that while a friend’s troubles might seem like small potatoes to you, they can be absolutely world-destroying to the sufferer. If someone is concerned enough about an issue to raise it in a discussion, it’s worth your consideration and sympathy. After all, every problem merits compassion, no matter whether you happen to think it’s a mountain or a molehill.